o l d e r - l a t e s t - g u e s t b o o k - p r o f i l e - d i a r y l a n d
You can spend all your time making money, you can spend all your love making time. If it all fell to pieces tomorrow, would you still be mine?
It's a very lazy night, tonight. It's been a lazy day. I went to a darling farmer's market, then went to the store, then came back here and talked online for a long, long time. Wrote some letters. Wrapped up progressively warmer as the night grew cold and my unheated apartment got chillier, until I was wearing gloves, pants, slippers, a crocheted hat and a scarf. I'm quite comfortable now.
I bought a card today because I liked the quote on it- it says, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." I think that's really true, because I've never felt like there was only one thing I was ever meant to do in this life. I feel like God's been guiding me into certain paths, but this great sweeping *need* some feel for their chosen studies is lost on me. I love studying the way life conducts itself and the way the body defends and sometimes hurts itself with its little army of lymphocytes, and I will be so happy doing this for the rest of my career. However, my adorations of God and literature and movies and running and art and cooking and languages and physics don't pale in comparison to my adoration of biology. Biology was not the clear option, the thing that captured my soul. But it was the way I chose to be useful. It was a choice, not a foreordained calling. I know many people say that they felt compelled to go into a field, and that's wonderful. But my life, as this quote so accurately describes, has been entirely a choice instead of a discovery. I'm really proud of that.
Pooneh wants me to go to the Chapter House with her tonight, but I'm really feeling very lazy and comfortable right here, talking to Dan Bruno on IM, typing with gloves on, a blanket over my legs. It will be the first Saturday night that I have not gone out... which will be followed up by next weekend's visit from my family. :) But I don't mind. I like being a curmudgeon sometimes. I would like nothing more than to sit on a couch and talk to a friend, preferably an old one tonight, because I've done a lot of talking with the new friends lately anyway, and sip tea. How old womanish is that? :)